The Epiphany
by Lillianfels
Summary: A glimpse into an underground relationship in the upper school


Draco emerged from his bathroom to be met with the sound of erratic sobbing. Glancing fleetingly from the bed to the chaise, he located the source of the distraction as the slumped figure that was Ginny. _His_ Ginny. Swathed in a crisp white sheet, her fiery hair cascaded down her bare shoulders and arms. One arm clenched at the bed sheet for dear life and the other held her head up for support. A pale, slender leg protruded from the folds and was absentmindedly toying with the pool of fabric on the floor. The scene tore at his heart. Even in this state, Ginny still managed to look like a deity. A goddess to be worshipped by him and him alone.

Caught off guard, and clad only in a pair of black pajama pants, Draco contemplated his course of action. "Gin," he enquired softly, testing the waters. The youngest Weasley looked up suddenly, quite alarmed at the disturbance. It served to only upset her more and she turned away abruptly. "Gin," Draco tentatively tried again. No response. Ill-equipped for dealing with a vulnerable, crying female, and quite anxious at the prospect, he changed tack and padded over to where she was seated. Bobbing down in front of Ginny, Draco swept the wet ginger strands from her face and tucked them behind her ears. Surprised at the affectionate gesture, Ginny recoiled from his contact.

"Please don't," she barely whispered, averting her eyes from Draco's searching stare.

Placing a hand on her knee instead, the blonde queried, "what's wrong Gin". There was genuine concern and urgency in his voice. Nothing had seemed amiss just half an hour previously. If anything, Ginny had been more responsive to his touch than ever. Now she was deliberately shying away from him. This was not the self-assured, level-headed Ginny he knew.

Clearing her throat, she pronounced a little more boldly, "please Draco, just let it be". Hurt at the blatant rejection of his attentions, Draco stated matter-of-factly, "I will most certainly not. There is a reason for your state and I'd like to know what that reason is. Obviously, it involves me in some manner, so I demand the right to know". The Slytherin streak was becoming more prominent by the second.

Ginny raised her eyes just a fraction to stare at his knees. "For someone who is reputably very intelligent, I wouldn't have thought that it took three times to tell you that I don't wish to discuss it at this point in time," she replied matching his tone. Draco was reaching the point of exasperation. He wasn't accustomed to being denied things.

Grabbing both her hands, Draco steadied his gaze directly at her and announced, "Ginny, I'm going to ask you one more time and then I have to leave if you have nothing to say. You know that I'm not a man of huge patience, but I would very much like to discuss what's evidently upsetting you right now".

A long silence ensued. Finally, Ginny bravely raised her head to be level with that of her lover's. "I want it to be more than just sex, Draco." The moment it had escaped her lips, Ginny regretted it immensely.

Draco's reaction was the last thing she had expected. Standing with excruciating slowness, he let go of the clammy hands he had been holding onto. His expression spoke volumes for his feelings. He looked surprised and confused, as if shot in the stomach by his best friend, while softly trembling all at the same time. It was all too much for him to take in. Ginny assumed an expression of a kicked puppy.

The perpetual tidal surge of self-doubt and uncertainty overcame her for seemingly the thousandth time in the last month. To repress her feelings on the direction, or lack thereof, of their relationship for a second longer would surely be the end of her endurance. The silence between the couple was deafening.

And so Ginny launched into what had been brooding inside her for months. "Draco, I'm so sorry," she continued. "I knew that we agreed at the outset that there could never be any opportunity for something beyond this," she explained, motioning the length of the room. "The ramifications on our families would be horrendous. Truly unthinkable."

Draco's stomach lurched at this reminder. Oh yes, the consequences would be unfathomable.

Ginny ploughed on, the tears now beginning to flow freely again down her stained cheeks. Draco paced anxiously, conscientiously remaining quiet. "The forces that operated to keep us apart are exactly what drove us to together. In the back of my logical mind, I know that it's impossible. We both saw that before we began." Draco's calmness was quickly beginning to unnerve her.

With an aggravated sigh, she continued. "We're from two different worlds. For pete's sake, we're a walking juxtaposition! You're a Slytherin, I'm a Gryffindor. Sniff I couldn't imagine life without Harry. You couldn't imagine life _with_ Harry. Sniff I'm such an emotional wreck, and you're standing there like you wouldn't recognize what pain was if it walked up to you an introduced itself." Ginny had struck a nerve. "How can you stand to be so bloody stoic and unfeeling all the time?

"For God's sake, say something Draco!" she yelled through muffled sobs.

Spinning on his heel, Draco rounded on Ginny with alarming speed, grabbing fistfuls of those precious red tresses, positioning her eyes to look at his. Grey on brown. Another contradiction to add to the list. "I cannot _believe _you have the audacity to talk about knowing pain," Draco harshly whispered with those menacing grey eyes. "Where were _you_ when I had to deal with my father going to Azkaban? Where were _you_ when I had to comfort my distraught mother? Where were _you_ when I was three years old and beaten around by that, that monster?" he said, his voice lowering. "You don't know pain Ginny. You don't know pain at all," he finished, releasing her locks and stalking away.

Ginny looked mutinous. "How dare you! You think that pain isn't being incapable of admitting to someone that I'm having the most amazing relationship with them of all people in my life, _ever_, but I'm not allowed to discuss it because it doesn't exist! You're concerns lie no further than upholding your family name, woe betide you that it should be damaged by encounters with a Weasley. It's in your blood, Draco. Like father, like son." Ginny paused to draw breath, ready for her next attack. "You're not three anymore and lord knows, you're not defenseless. You've got to make adult choices, Draco and despite how much that scares the hell out of me, I still make them and I'm making one now," Ginny shouted, positively fuming.

Frustrated by her comments, Draco slid his hands through his hair as Ginny screamed on. He kept motioning as if to walk towards his assailant, but thought better of it. "Stop!" Draco yelled, squeezing his eyes closed in anguish. All the memories of home... Ginny attempted to start again. "Stop Ginny!" he yelled again, more firmly. Ginny tried once more. "Just shut up!" Draco bellowed at the top of his lungs, running his hands down across his face and letting them come to rest on the desk. Fingers lingering on his coveted badge, he picked it up and hurled it forcefully at the wall, watching it smash into a dozen tiny pieces.

Powerless to stop the momentum of her anger, Ginny persisted at the top of her voice. "You'd be a narrow-minded git to think that I could be sleeping in your bed with you over the last few years and not feel anything towards you other than a physical closeness. You're obviously not as intelligent as people give you credit for, Draco." Motioning wildly with her hands, Ginny proceeded with her argument. "What about my family Draco? Hasn't the thought ever occurred to you that my family would disown me too? Can't you remember what Dad did to Percy not so long ago? Oh, wait, my apologies. All that small talk between us which I considered _real life_ was little more than foreplay for you! Pardon me, I momentarily forgot that you never _have_ and never _will_ give a shit about me Draco. My family do however, care about my welfare and to be polite, would vehemently oppose, the prestigious position I hold for occasional shag for Draco Malfoy. They hate you and everything that you stand for. It would decimate them if ever they discovered that I was _in love_ with a Malfoy!" Ginny screamed hysterically.

_In love_? This last pronouncement had stopped Draco in his tracks. The air was disturbingly thick with tension. Both figures remained still, trying to catch their breath. It was only when Draco unfolded his crossed arms and looked questioningly at Ginny from the other side of the room that she realized what she had blurted out in the heat of the moment.

Something inside of Draco snapped. He wished desperately just to curl up and die in that moment of utter stillness. The only person he had ever been remotely close to had just poured her heart, her soul out to a boy who was positioned from the very beginning to reject her. The beatings had left him feeling better than he was now. The million retorts that had been increasing the pressure in his head flew out the window. Draco doubted very much that a single coherent thought could have been produced by his head even if he had tried.

Either way for Ginny, it was death. To continue living without Draco would be unbearable. Once he had entered her life, she had gone past the point of no return. She had been engaging in scandalous liaisons with the most powerful boy in the school. Alternately, living with him would prove equally impossible.

No argument had been exchanged between them for several minutes. She prayed for leniency, but then that had never been a Malfoy family trait. She looked at him with desperate, pleading eyes, threatening to spill more unshed tears. She wondered fleetingly if he would harm her in a moment of spontaneous violence.

A resigned man, Draco strode to the dresser and concealed a small object from the drawer inside his pocket. After an eternity, he resumed his submissive position in front of the panicked Ginny. Deliberating his choice of words, Draco smoothed the cloth around her legs, and across her lap. Forcing back the torrent of emotions begging for release, he grasped her face with both hands. Ginny awaited her sentence, taking deep, calming breaths.

"Gin," Draco started. There was a long pause and he looked down, as if gathering courage. The use of her pet name following the conversation-induced rage moments ago was not a welcoming sign to the Weasley sister. If letting her down gently was the only kind gesture he ever afforded her, Ginny would be enormously grateful.

"I," he began. "I." Draco sighed and attempted to speak again. "I."

This was just ridiculous. The poor boy had never stuttered in his life. The dreaded anticipation was beginning to kill Ginny. With sudden determination, Draco looked Ginny square in the eye.

"Gin, what you said hurt me immeasurably."

Ginny nodded in agreement. She hadn't intended to say those horrible things. Nonetheless, they were founded by some truth and to a certain degree, she was relieved he finally knew of her feelings. The awful sentiment of guilt began to dwell in her. A lone tear slid down onto Draco's defined hand.

His grip on Ginny's face became a little too strong for comfort. "You should have informed me earlier Ginny and we could have stopped this. Of course, it's far too little, far too late now. Ginny, look at me," Draco requested firmly. Their faces were so close, Ginny could feel his warm breath coursing across her wet cheeks and down her neck. Her gaze followed his as he reached into his pocket and withdrew the dark object. Holding it in one palm, their eyes realigned once more.

"Gin, what you said hurt me so much because I've loved you from the very beginning."

Ginny's weeping ceased suddenly and she sat, staring fixedly at Draco in bewilderment, mouth slackened and ears disbelieving. _He_ loved _her_? Ginny's heart swelled and in that second, she felt she would never feel this alive again. To discover her affections were reciprocal after all this time was too much to take in. This didn't remotely resemble the speech she had been expecting. Ginny desperately needed to faint.

"I've wanted tell you that every day since the first time I woke up holding you in my arms."

"Draco, I want," Ginny interrupted.

"Shhh, just hear me out," Draco asserted. "You, inspire me to go through the monotonous motions of school every day. You do a thousand little things that make me want to try harder to supersede my family legacy. I am a better person because of you and you alone. The depth of my devotion to you petrifies me. I've never felt this way toward anything or anybody. Ginny," Draco said, sliding his hands along her arms and to her wrists, "you give my life purpose".

On the verge of collapsing, Ginny tried to maintain her composure as Draco opened the box clasped in his hand. Vaguely aware of the gravity of the situation, Ginny felt a thousand miles away. "Marry me, Ginny," Draco asked. The velvet folds of the box revealed an obscenely large diamond which could have bought The Burrow twenty times over.

Allowing a period of time for consideration, Ginny arrived at a decision. "No," she stated simply. An inarticulate noise escaped Draco's throat. The tables had turned and it was his chance to be astonished. Surely after everything they had battled to remain together and certainly following their mutual declaration...

"I can't Draco." His eyes were downcast and rimmed with tears. Ginny kissed his forehead and clutched at his hands with her own. "Rather, I won't. I won't until you let me apologise for my behaviour. I offended you and it was morally reprehen..." she began until Draco interjected.

"I seem to be telling you this a lot today, but I mean it in the nicest possible way. Ginny, shut up and let me kiss you." A lightened Draco grabbed her and locked her lips briefly in a smoldering kiss. "So," he queried slyly, "is that a yes?"

"Do you feel the need to preempt me?"

"Of course I do. You're about as predictable as the weather," he teased. In a more serious tone, Draco pronounced, "I'd like to hear you say it though".

"Yes," Ginny said, the tears flowing freely between them. Draco finished his duty and slid the ring on an elegant finger. He then gathered the svelte figure against his chest and hugged her with all his might. It was certainly not the manner in which he had envisioned proposing, but it had been effective.

"But what will we do about our families?" came the sudden concern.

"We'll make it work, Gin. The hardest part is over with. I've been wanting to give you that thing for weeks," he proclaimed, looking at her hand. "And you know of course, there _is _another way you can ease your conscience," Draco smirked, covering her mouth in butterfly kisses. "That ring looks as fantastic on you, as that sheet would off you, Mrs Malfoy," he said scooping her up in his arms.


End file.
